Will this hurt friendships?

It can — only play with people you trust, and respect every skip without comment.

How honest does the group have to be?

As honest as the group is comfortable being. Lying back is allowed; the game still works.

Three to four. Larger groups dilute the trust this category needs.

Secrets & Lies

Have you ever lied about being in contact with an ex?

👥 Play with Friends

Why people ask this

Confession questions change the energy in the room the moment someone says yes — because it means there is a story they have been holding onto. This question travels because secrets are heavy and the urge to put one down — even just into a game — is stronger than most people admit. Questions like this one get played across every kind of group on have.you — couples on a first date, coworkers at team events, friends on long drives. Each setting produces a different answer, which is part of why Have You Ever has stayed in circulation long after most party games get retired.

What do players say?

27%

of players said Yes
11 responses

Based on 11 answers so far, 27% of players say yes — making this less common than most people assume.

Discussion starters

→ Who in the group is most likely to have lied about being in contact with an ex?
→ Did you ever get caught — and is there anyone in the room you'd still never tell?
→ What is the longest you have kept a secret?
→ What is one lie you tell to keep the peace?
→ What is something you have done that nobody in this room knows?

Ever found yourself fibbing about your contact with an ex? This question dives into secrets and lies, revealing how often honesty or deception plays a role in our relationships. For more provocative questions, visit our classic questions collection.

What This Question Really Asks

This question explores the nuances of honesty and deception in personal relationships. It sheds light on whether people tend to bend the truth about their interactions with former partners or maintain a facade of transparency. Besides revealing honesty levels, it can prompt deeper insights into relationship boundaries and boundaries crossed or maintained. If you're curious about uncovering more truths or secrets, check out our deep and meaningful questions for serious conversations.

How comfortable are you sharing details about past relationships?
Whether you’ve ever hidden a message or a call from an ex.
If you believe lying sometimes protects feelings.
What this reveals about your trust in your partner.

How to Use This Question

Setting	Tone	Best for	Tip
Friends game night	Playful and teasing	Casual group	Encourage honesty without judgment, perhaps referencing our group decider tool for fair turns.
First date	Honest and intimate	Getting to know someone	Use it to build trust gradually; see how open they are with personal stories.
Team meeting	Professional and subtle	Icebreaker or team bonding	Frame it as a hypothetical to keep things light—it's not always about you.
Family dinner	Warm and sincere	Deeper connection	Share your own stories to foster openness, guided by how much comfort everyone shows.
Party	Humorous and lively	Breaking the ice	Lighten the mood with playful follow-ups, perhaps using our icebreaker generator.

When You Say "Yes"

You value honesty and transparency in your relationships.
You might have a secret or two about past lovers.
You believe lying about communication could sometimes prevent unnecessary conflict.
You’re comfortable admitting mistakes or past deceptions.
It signals that you’re willing to be vulnerable and candid, especially if you’re exploring deep conversations.

When You Say "No"

Saying no might mean you prefer to keep certain aspects of your past private or believe some truths are best left unsaid. You could be cautious about revealing too much, especially if trust hasn't fully developed. Maintaining boundaries about past relationships can also help foster respect and privacy in your current relationships or social groups.

Privacy is more important than revealing every detail.
You think some stories can impact current relationships negatively.
Deception might be used to protect feelings or prevent jealousy.

Best Follow-Up Questions

What are your thoughts on honesty in relationships?
Have you ever regretted hiding something from someone?
How do you handle secrets in friendships?
What boundaries do you think are essential when discussing past relationships?
Would you ever use dishonesty to protect someone’s feelings? Explore more thought-provoking questions in our categories.